Right to be Wrong
by Oninekosan
Summary: Kyo realizes his role in his relationship with Tohru. Takes place after book 11.
1. I've Got a Right to be Wrong

Author: Lady Neko  
Warnings: None  
Disclaimer: As always, I don't own these characters. I just use them in this story.  
Feedback: Please please please

This is just a one-shot from Kyou's POV. It's short and sweet. Hope you like it :)

**Right to be Wrong**

_I've got a right to be wrong  
So just leave me alone.  
Joss Stone "Right to be Wrong"_

**Chapter 1: I've got a Right to be Wrong**

_I had a dream about the one I love  
And then…  
There was nothing I could do._

Shigure spoke for all of us that day. We would never admit it. I guess maybe that shows how brave the dog really is. Maybe.

"Do you remember the morning I had that dream?" Shigure said to Hatori, "You and me and Aaya all cried, remember? That morning…" He paused for a moment. "It became something painful for you two. But for me…it still remains…in my heart." Shigure finished by looking up at Hatori, staring with that seriousness that sometimes chilled him to the bone. _That longing…_

The longing that remains in all our hearts though we, Yuki and I most of all, may not feel it.

_That passion…  
Paralyzingly sweet and sad._

Seems like we've grown so much since then. Yet still, why can't I admit it? Is it because there are too many feelings swirling inside? Chaos, one of us once said, chaos eats at our souls, making it impossible to tell, to feel our own emotions. Maybe that's our real curse…

I remember the day being very hot. We were all at home, Shigure, Tohru, Yuki and I, which, when combined with heat, can make a volatile situation. To avoid being made more irritable than I already was I made my way to the only place I thought I'd be safe, the roof. To my surprise, though, when I reached the top someone was already occupying my refuge. Someone grey and decidedly girly.

"What the hell are you doing up here?" I growled. He didn't even flinch. At first, I thought his eyes might be closed, but as I looked further I could just make out slits of violet mostly shielded by eyelid. His body didn't respond, but his voice was noticeably agitated. "This is my house too, baka. I was here first." Even through his agitation his voice was smooth.

"Don't call me…" I started my usual comeback, then stopped abruptly. Yuki glanced my way, then returned his gaze to the sky. After slight hesitation I decided against further argument and instead crawled on all four limbs across the roof and less than gracefully plopped down a couple feet away from Yuki. He wasn't going to keep me off my roof, dammit. "I thought you didn't like heights." I glared at him. "I never said such a thing." He replied.

We laid there, in uncomfortable silence, for some time. The hot afternoon sun was melting into a cool evening, and the roof was slowly becoming more bearable. I gazed at the cloudless sky, which was just beginning to show its stars. Only the sweetness of the breeze and the silence of his highness the prince was keeping me from rolling over and knocking him right off the edge of the roof. No doubt he was ready for such a move anyway. Strangely, though, it was I who broke the silence.

"You are such an idiot." I said. I didn't expect a reaction and I didn't receive one. "How could you tell her that?" Now I got movement from him. Without looking over I could tell he was staring right at me. "What?"

"How could you tell her you-" "Shut up!" Yuki interrupted. The ferocity in his voice startled me and I sat up. "You don't know anything." Yuki said, his voice low and dangerous. I stared in bewilderment. "What did Akito say to you?" I asked. Yuki closed his eyes in reaction, whether in indecision or irritation I didn't know. His odd purple eyes opened slowly. "Enough. It's really none of your business anyway." I opened my mouth to speak, then shut it again and mentally berated myself for letting Yuki get the better of me.

I laid back down and turned onto my side so my back faced Yuki. I was both embarrassed and hurt. In the distance the sun had almost set behind the trees and hills. All it cast was a dull gold glow like that of a grand candle, one that had outlived its purpose as a purveyor of light and was slowly running out of wick and life. Constantly the setting sun reminded me of the Juunishi. We were in a never ending stalemate between the sweet flourishing day and the impending black of night, always threatening to forever sink us below the horizon. It's name was Akito.

"I still remember that vow." Shigure put his hand to his heart. "If I can make it happen, I won't feel guilty about the means to that end. Even if someone gets hurt in the process." Hatori ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "There are times," Shigure continued, "when I hate myself for it."

How do I protect the one I love? If I answer that question, will I be set free? I heard Yuki sigh behind me. "This is awkward, isn't it?" He said finally. I remained silent. "Why?" I heard a hint of despair behind his voice. "Why what?" I replied. "Why are we like this? We've stopped fighting. Why is it still so awkward?" I turned now, my eyes widening. "What do you want? Do you want us to wonder around, holding hands and doing everything together? Do you want us to be best friends aga-" "NO." Yuki cut me off. "Of course not. I just…why is it so hard?" It might have been my imagination, but I thought I heard his voice break. "Why is our life so…"

I turned, facing him, but remained still. I was completely unsure of what to do. Yuki had never acted in such a way in front of me before. He was still staring at the sky, eyes glistening with tears that wouldn't fall. For a moment I wondered if he was holding them there by sheer force of will. "I'm getting down." "What did Akito say to you?" We said at the same time. "Wha? What the hell makes you think-"

"Fine. I didn't think you'd tell me. So let me guess. Akito called you a monster. Then Akito made some comment about Honda-San and you confessed." I could do nothing but gawk at him like an idiot. "Or did you? Were you smart for once? Did you keep your mouth shut?" "Who the hell do you-" Yuki stopped me again. "You can't get what you want, Kyo, until you learn what your role really is." I stood, and in one swift move leapt from the roof and landed on the ground. I glanced for a moment back at the roof. I didn't want to think about what he meant by that statement. Or how he knew what Akito had said to me. Or that he had called me by my name.

_I won't let anyone see you. No one look…at my child. No one look…_

The branch sliced a fine line down my face as I ran by it. I had thought my torment was over. Does he mean to do it? Or is it just his place as the rat? I realized I wasn't sure anymore. The darkness prevented me from seeing more than a few feet in front of me, but I knew I wasn't far from the house.

_You're my son and I'm proud of you._

Why didn't I believe you? Was it because you didn't look? Because you acted like nothing was wrong? Or was it that I had no reason to? I didn't think you should be proud of me, because I was nothing to be proud of. I didn't, couldn't protect you, stop you…

_ It's not my fault!  
You're lonely, aren't you? She's lonely too._

"What are you saying? That I asked for this?" Shigure sighed. "Akito-" "Shut up! Stop being mean! Stop it!" Shigure put his arms around Akito's shoulders. "I'm not trying to be mean, Akito…" Akito raised his hand to slap Shigure's away, then lowered it again. "Do you think you love her?" Shigure rolled his eyes. "Of course not. That's not-" Akito slumped down to Shigure. "I didn't ask for this. I was born to it. I take this burden for all of you. You don't even care!" Shigure remained calm. This was his desired effect, after all. "Akito, please calm…" "Kureno!" Akito stood, levering himself away from Shigure. "We're leaving."


	2. So Just Leave Me Alone

**Chapter 2: So Just Leave me Alone**

Have I changed? Everyday, I see myself as the same person. That person looking back at me, that monster…

"Kyo-kun?" Her voice dissolved my dirty thoughts. That day, that summer, during those years, I saw her get hurt, and I did nothing. She asked me to protect Tohru, and I couldn't. More than anything else in my life, that made me a monster. But how does a dog expect to catch the moon with a howl? How does a cat scratch god? She did, she did.

"Kyo-kun, are you out here?" I had no choice but to answer her, because I didn't want to worry her. "Yes." I saw her face peer around the bush I was behind. "Yuki-kun said you'd left. I was worried…" "Sorry." I apologized immediately. "I didn't mean to worry you." She was so beautiful, in the moonlight, that for an instant my heart weakened.

"Tohru…"

"Kyo-kun…"

If she hadn't interrupted me, I might have told her something I'd have regretted. I might have told her the truth. "Sorry, you go…" I held my hand up. This moment required silence. I felt as though words might split my heart in two. I stood still, without speaking, and expected her to leave. I just wanted to be alone. Was that wrong? She didn't, though. She stayed with me, as I hoped she would and I hoped she wouldn't. My head was filled with the things I wanted to say but couldn't, those feelings I couldn't express or didn't understand. That need to never let her feel lonely again…

Shigure sat slumped over a desk, face down and hands all tangled in his hair. "Well, now, here's a sight. I didn't think the dog worried about anything." Shigure lifted his head and glared at Ayame. "I'm not worried." He said. "Well, congratulations, you fooled me." Shigure glanced up and raised an eyebrow. "That's not hard to do." He quipped. "Oh, touché." Aaya said lovingly. "Seriously, though, what's bothering my puppy?" Aaya put on his best look of concern. "Seriously, Aaya? Please. We both know you can't be serious-"

"I can so!" "-and it's none of your business." Shigure finished. "Well! I refuse to converse with a snob." Aaya huffed. "Then at least I never have to worry about you talking to yourself." Aaya looked genuinely hurt. "No need for you to talk to me either. Good day." Aaya stood and sulked as best he could out of the room. Shigure resumed his slumped position over the desk.

"Weren't you a little hard on him?" Shigure didn't raise his head. "He was bothering me." Hatori moved to the chair opposite the desk and sat down. "What did he do now?" He asked. Shigure looked up before answering. "Aaya?" "Akito." Hatori replied. Shigure sharply sat back in his seat and stared at Hatori. "Are you psychic, Haa-san? When something important happens around here do you get a little memo in your brain?" Shigure said sarcastically. "Yes." Hatori calmly replied. Shigure sighed. Hatori was much harder to get rid of then Ayame.

"It was Ren." Shigure said finally. "I'm a bad dog, Haa-san." Hatori sat in thought for a moment. "Don't you think it was wrong?"

"I have a right to be wrong." Shigure answered. "So just leave me alone."

What do we do, when we have no where else to go? I was at the bottom, I couldn't sink any lower. But she cared about me, she pulled me from my dark pit, and I fought her the whole way. Still, she never gave up. She never gave up on me. Yet when that moment came, that time she might need me, I was helpless.

"We should go back. It's getting cold, Kyo-kun. You'll catch cold. And the others are worried about you."

"Why? Why should they be worried about me? I've disappeared before. If I was out all night, they wouldn't worry about me." I flinched inwardly. I couldn't stop it, the self-pity. I hated it more than anything.

"I would." was all she said. Like a dam, it broke. And the eternal mistake was made. "I'm sorry!" I all but shouted. "I'm sorry Tohru. I act like I don't care but I do. All I wanted was to protect you. That's all I've ever wanted. I wanted to protect you and lo-" I stopped so fast I choked. I wouldn't say that. I couldn't ever let her know. I slid to the ground, my back hunched and my head hung down. I heard her close the distance between us and I looked up at her. What I saw was not a girl, or a woman. I didn't see a spirit, or an angel. I saw a goddess, like I had never seen before. The true face of a god. The moon framed her head and created a halo of silver light around her. As long as I live, I'll never forget that sight.

"Mom said that if you can't protect the one you love, you have to have faith they will protect you. Please, don't worry about me." As she stood above me, fearless, ready to face any danger for us, for me, I realized, the whole time, I was not the one doing the protecting. She was. She held out her hand to me. "Let's go back." She said, and smiled. I took her hand and stood in front of her. "This whole time, I was wrong." I said. Still smiling, she grasped my hand tighter. "You've got a right to be wrong." And she scratched god.

Yes, Akito.  
So just leave me alone.


End file.
